It is a most excellent invention. Well, for dogs at least. The retractable, 16 foot leash is nearly freedom for a collar-bound pooch. Who needs to heel a K9 when you can reel? Of course one need recognize that 16 feet is the radius and the same leash has a 32 foot diameter and a Pie-R-Squared moving mess of panting tongue, wagging tail, whizzing poop and pee anywhere in the midst. Heel is starting to look better and better.
What if a brave, (ig'nant*) soul multiplied this equation by two? In other words, walked two pups on two separate 16 foot retractable leashes, thus creating two 32 foot diameter moving circles of joy. Joy for the quad's. You don't mind if I call them that, do you? For the quads it is fun most of the time. However, after particular macramé movements there are incidents of strangulation. But, for the most part, the dogs have a great time.
What of the brave soul? If you make it home with both pets, neither strangled nor run over, then you're trooper. It is not really like flying kites. It is more like mercury on a string. Perhaps, it is like sentient mercury tied with two strings, moving in circular arcs, in between legs, round about with sudden stops and evacuations of solid and liquid waste by products. Did I mention the plastic poop gloves?
However, when all are walking in the same direction with no line entanglements, you have a thing of beauty. People gawk out from their passing automobiles. Pedestrians pause with cuddly words of praise and puppy affection. This is often when the macramé sets in. Ahhh, how can I express the beauty of the thing? It may be fleeting, and I have a new respect for that word, but the movement of two precious pups, constrained just a little, is, well, it is art! hold it a minute I'll, Woahhhh..arghh.. , hold that thought,
d.e$#@ .. dang, cord... well, come here and you won't strangle ,hey, come back here, don't you see your sister is choking.... dan#$%@@!!.. ok, ok.... HEY....get out of those flowers, ok, now, join your sister, it'll be ok.. Hey #@$&&8!!.. the button. the button, press the dag nab button!
I forgot to mention that this wonderful invention has a button on the handle that enables the human host to restrict the leash to lengths UNDER 16 feet. It is most useful when you remember to take advantage of it. Ok.. one dog is dragging the other one under her hind legs. I’ve got to come back and pick up that poop I missed.
I'll sign off for now and see you UP the road.
[ * ig’nant = to dumb to spell ignorant ]
What if a brave, (ig'nant*) soul multiplied this equation by two? In other words, walked two pups on two separate 16 foot retractable leashes, thus creating two 32 foot diameter moving circles of joy. Joy for the quad's. You don't mind if I call them that, do you? For the quads it is fun most of the time. However, after particular macramé movements there are incidents of strangulation. But, for the most part, the dogs have a great time.
What of the brave soul? If you make it home with both pets, neither strangled nor run over, then you're trooper. It is not really like flying kites. It is more like mercury on a string. Perhaps, it is like sentient mercury tied with two strings, moving in circular arcs, in between legs, round about with sudden stops and evacuations of solid and liquid waste by products. Did I mention the plastic poop gloves?
However, when all are walking in the same direction with no line entanglements, you have a thing of beauty. People gawk out from their passing automobiles. Pedestrians pause with cuddly words of praise and puppy affection. This is often when the macramé sets in. Ahhh, how can I express the beauty of the thing? It may be fleeting, and I have a new respect for that word, but the movement of two precious pups, constrained just a little, is, well, it is art! hold it a minute I'll, Woahhhh..arghh.. , hold that thought,
d.e$#@ .. dang, cord... well, come here and you won't strangle ,hey, come back here, don't you see your sister is choking.... dan#$%@@!!.. ok, ok.... HEY....get out of those flowers, ok, now, join your sister, it'll be ok.. Hey #@$&&8!!.. the button. the button, press the dag nab button!
I forgot to mention that this wonderful invention has a button on the handle that enables the human host to restrict the leash to lengths UNDER 16 feet. It is most useful when you remember to take advantage of it. Ok.. one dog is dragging the other one under her hind legs. I’ve got to come back and pick up that poop I missed.
I'll sign off for now and see you UP the road.
[ * ig’nant = to dumb to spell ignorant ]
1 comment:
Hola, Pappa Leo! Sounds like Sushi and Wasabi are taking you for a walk!
Post a Comment