It was not a secret place, it was my secret place. Actually the place could be seen from nearly any direction and from far and near. The total availability of the place made it all the more secret and mine alone. That is the power of a secret place, you know, to own it all by yourself. Maybe, sometimes, you can share it with a very close friend, but just like Jess and Leslie, that doesn't happen all that often. And I didn't meet my 'Leslie' until Mike's Frontier Burger. But that IS another story.
My secret place was only known by a few birds and our cat, Chan. Chan never went there that I know of, but he saw me sneak into the entrance a time or two. I was confident he wouldn't tell anyone, so it was OK that he saw me.
I guess I was pretty small when I first started going there. Well, because I can remember when I could not go there because of growth. Both my secret place and I grew and it came to a time that I could not get past the entrance. Oh, I could get to the door alright, I just could not get past it without doing it damage. I didn't want to wound my secret place.
I'm not sure the first time I found it. I think it was when I got in trouble or a sibling picked on me or something like that. I remember it was fairly funky because I wanted to run way away, and I could not because I was very young. They come after you pretty quick when you're young.
I went outside and started to go off into the field behind our house. You had to walk through sort of a line of trees right on the back of our yard. Instead of going out into the open field, I came back to the largest of the trees and climbed up onto one of the lower branches. I'd done that before but had not been in a run away mood.
This time, I kept on climbing. I passed some of the easy branches and came to a place where the center trunk had a crown of small limbs all the way around. It looked like that was it. It was as far as you could go. But, by stretching back to where two of the small branches made room for me to hoist up between, I was able to infiltrate this hidden entrance.
Above the crown I continued climbing onto the very tips of the top of the tree. Some of the branches I wedged my feet into were smaller than my father's fingers. The limbs I clutched in my hands were smaller than my fingers. But I had no fear and took no thought, for I was hidden from words and glares. I wasn't too young to be afraid, I had no time to think about it. I needed to be away! No one would even think I could get that high in the tree.
As I looked out over the tops of the branches I could see forever. Specially in the direction out of town. I did not know it was West, but it was. In the other directions there were houses and even larger trees so those views were not as spectacular as it was to the West.
The top branches swayed with the wind and I swayed with them. It was not long before I didn't remember why it was that I came into my hiding place. So transition from hiding to secret and special happened all in the very first trip. I don't remember how old I was that first time or how many times I went there. I can remember that if I truly wanted to be alone, I had a place very close where I could go very far away.
I remember my mother calling out our front door, "come on in, now..." If I didn't answer she'd yell harder and louder and I'd be in for it cuz I wasn't supposed to be out of 'ear shot'. So I learned to shout away from the house so she would not realize I was right over her head.
I was always very careful entering and exiting my secret place. I was always aware that my private ownership would be forever gone if anyone saw my exit from this world. As far as the house, I could swing up on the opposite side of the tree from our door, so that posed no problem. But from the back of our house, our neighbor's house was in view, so I'd always be sure to check that no one was in the yard or out in the field.
I appreciated being invisible from time to time when I was a youngster. Invisible and not breaking any rules. What a neat gift. The only problem became growing up. I grew and the gateway grew too. That crown of limbs became a knotted clump of branches that I could no longer lean out far enough to get through. I could have cut some out, but that would not be the same.
I remember saying good-by. I stood on branches below the crown, scrunched my nose at the knot of branches, and said, "well, I guess were finished with each other. Thank you for all the times you allowed me to hide in the top places. I know you'll keep our secret." As far as I know, the tree kept confidence.
My secret place was only known by a few birds and our cat, Chan. Chan never went there that I know of, but he saw me sneak into the entrance a time or two. I was confident he wouldn't tell anyone, so it was OK that he saw me.
I guess I was pretty small when I first started going there. Well, because I can remember when I could not go there because of growth. Both my secret place and I grew and it came to a time that I could not get past the entrance. Oh, I could get to the door alright, I just could not get past it without doing it damage. I didn't want to wound my secret place.
I'm not sure the first time I found it. I think it was when I got in trouble or a sibling picked on me or something like that. I remember it was fairly funky because I wanted to run way away, and I could not because I was very young. They come after you pretty quick when you're young.
I went outside and started to go off into the field behind our house. You had to walk through sort of a line of trees right on the back of our yard. Instead of going out into the open field, I came back to the largest of the trees and climbed up onto one of the lower branches. I'd done that before but had not been in a run away mood.
This time, I kept on climbing. I passed some of the easy branches and came to a place where the center trunk had a crown of small limbs all the way around. It looked like that was it. It was as far as you could go. But, by stretching back to where two of the small branches made room for me to hoist up between, I was able to infiltrate this hidden entrance.
Above the crown I continued climbing onto the very tips of the top of the tree. Some of the branches I wedged my feet into were smaller than my father's fingers. The limbs I clutched in my hands were smaller than my fingers. But I had no fear and took no thought, for I was hidden from words and glares. I wasn't too young to be afraid, I had no time to think about it. I needed to be away! No one would even think I could get that high in the tree.
As I looked out over the tops of the branches I could see forever. Specially in the direction out of town. I did not know it was West, but it was. In the other directions there were houses and even larger trees so those views were not as spectacular as it was to the West.
The top branches swayed with the wind and I swayed with them. It was not long before I didn't remember why it was that I came into my hiding place. So transition from hiding to secret and special happened all in the very first trip. I don't remember how old I was that first time or how many times I went there. I can remember that if I truly wanted to be alone, I had a place very close where I could go very far away.
I remember my mother calling out our front door, "come on in, now..." If I didn't answer she'd yell harder and louder and I'd be in for it cuz I wasn't supposed to be out of 'ear shot'. So I learned to shout away from the house so she would not realize I was right over her head.
I was always very careful entering and exiting my secret place. I was always aware that my private ownership would be forever gone if anyone saw my exit from this world. As far as the house, I could swing up on the opposite side of the tree from our door, so that posed no problem. But from the back of our house, our neighbor's house was in view, so I'd always be sure to check that no one was in the yard or out in the field.
I appreciated being invisible from time to time when I was a youngster. Invisible and not breaking any rules. What a neat gift. The only problem became growing up. I grew and the gateway grew too. That crown of limbs became a knotted clump of branches that I could no longer lean out far enough to get through. I could have cut some out, but that would not be the same.
I remember saying good-by. I stood on branches below the crown, scrunched my nose at the knot of branches, and said, "well, I guess were finished with each other. Thank you for all the times you allowed me to hide in the top places. I know you'll keep our secret." As far as I know, the tree kept confidence.
1 comment:
Sweet. Thanks for sharing.
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