Friday, July 20, 2007

A DIFFERENT COLD MEMORY

No ice skating rink with pros's and wannabes stuffed in the corner of a shopping mall. No, it was a real live POND. Central Iowa in the winter time has many places one could slide across ice on blades. I did it as a child but the adventures were not limited to the ice.

From where I lived in a newly established mobile home park. Notably different than a trailer park, mind you. In those days (early 50's) trailers were the cutting edge alternative homes. That was before the term
"trailer trash" came to be. Anyway, from our home I walked about a half mile before the first adventure and then another mile or so to the second one. It was a mile or so beyond that to the Skating Pond.

Adventure one: It was about 2 acres of partially fenced junk yard with a house, of sorts, in the middle. I knew that it was partially fenced because of the quadruped leakage. I was 7 or 8 years old when I first learned about "meaner than a junk yard dog". About a gazillion angry, barking, slathering, demon-possessed, part wolf dogs came running at me like a hairy freight train. I was frozen in place and about to be transformed into kibbles and bits, when fear turned into desperation and I began to swing my ice skates around in an arch. I held the blade of one and the other swung out about 3 feet creating a 6' circle of silver dog death. I learned that day that dogs don't like the sound of "swishing" things. All the dogs screeched to a halt just out of reach of the screaming blade.

I pulled the roots of my fearful feet up and began to walk on. I was careful to keep the 6' arch around me, hoping that the shoe strings would not come un-tied. A couple hundred yards later I remembered to start breathing again. I was tired from fear and survival exertion, but had to keep going to the Pond cuz I didn't want to do the dogs again.

Adventure two: In a desire to save energy to skate, I decided to cut through the cemetery. A beautifully landscaped and rolling hill area. Nice enough to be dead in. Along the way my mind began to think in black & white horror movies. I could see the grass on graves start to mound up and knew bony hands wanted to break the surface. I picked up the pace and decreased my breathing again. Why do we stop breathing when fear assails? That cemetery went on for about 200 miles.

By the time I got to the POND, I was a couple years older and wondered of the purpose of my trip. Out of near duty, I laced up my skates. I got on the ice with a sigh and thoughts pounding me about the trek home. Within 20' of gliding on that ice, the previous adventures were swallowed up in the joy and freedom of movement.

Energy owned only by those in
decade one flowed through my limbs and when I went home I was walking with a spring in my step. The dead were all sleeping and the dogs must have been too, because no one assailed me on my return trip. Other adventures, on and off the ice, were experienced, but the thrill of the movement still fills the lanes of my memory.


Wednesday, July 18, 2007

THE BIRTHING of DAYS

Over five years this time. It has been that long before. The first time was twenty three years. Nearly a quarter of a century before I touched the celebration with any depth from within my own life and love. Oh, I celebrated before but I usually tracked along with generic trappings standard in my culture, so I'm not sure I celebrated or just merged with other's ideas and called it happy.

It was a third year when it happened. My wife survived as He promised, and he was born. We gave him a name together, as best we could, only to find out later that much more than we imagined was involved in his naming. I told her family only when I knew she was OK. No one seemed to notice we'd been at the hospital over two days.


When we took him home, I could hold him in one hand. I did after he could balance his neck a little better. I'd hold his little rump in the palm of my hand, and he was about as tall as a football with appendages. We use to have a picture.

I was home and lucid for the moment he discovered his hand. It was nearly an accident, but I saw the moment. I thought of calling her, but I hesitated because I felt how delicate the moment was. When it continued, I called gently. She saw it too, I think. He looked at each finger, and focused upon one, drew it toward his mouth and touched his forehead instead. Drew his hand back, scrunched his face, drew his hand toward his mouth, MORE forehead..... a second or two and the moment ended. But not for me.

Years, decades have passed. Long he's been living his own life. This year we were able to intersect and celebrate together. We understand WHO brought us together and granted us love. We know WHO is celebrated. And we appreciate how much more precious it is when we can do so together.

Thank You, GOD, for our family.


CAN YOU SMELL IT?

A quote from Oswald Chambers caught my heart's attention recently. Here it is: "The call of God is like the call of the sea - No one hears it except the person who has the nature of the sea in him." It caught my inner attention and then I realized something. I get it. I really get that.

Once as a very young boy I was in the car with my family as we drove from Iowa to Oregon for a holiday. I remember being able to sleep in one of the back seat floor boards, resting my head on the bump. That's pretty young, right?

I remember we were stopped somewhere and my mom saying, "hush", putting her fingers to her mouth and casting her eyes into the sky. "Do you smell it?" she asked. Young noses lifted and sniffed, searching the air for chocolate and cotton candy, or anything sweet and edible. "Do you smell it?" she asked again. "Smell what?" came a small chorus of grubby, hungry faces. "I can smell the sea", she beamed with joy.

I didn't know much about travel, or the sea but I was aware that there wasn't any sea around. We were in Kansas or Wyoming and a LONG way from the sea. My dad said, "boys, your momma can smell the changes of salt in the air and if a wind carries any of the sea in it, your momma can smell it. She was born by the sea."

Oh, wow, my momma was born by the sea!! "what's the sea, daddy?" "I'll show you, son, when we get there." That's a story for another time, but the thing is, I started to smell it too. Turns out I was born by the sea like my momma. Different coast, but I still got salt water in my lungs.

I heard the sea when I was 12 and again when I was 22. Both times it wasn't the sea, it was the call of God. I think Oswald knew something when he said what he did about the call of God. Do you smell it? It's ever so slight comin' in on a gentle breeze.

Sunday, July 15, 2007

EATIN MY WORDS

The Red Vet poked along in front of me. "You shouldn't drive one of those, particularly a RED one, if you're just gonna constipate traffic!" My thoughts began to push. The red vet paid me no attention and my vehicle slowed with all the others. My thoughts began to create an entire universe in which this person was a total alien, and in the words of an old friend, "must be destroyed!" The little memory of humor allowed my thoughts a slice of light and in that crevice my Father's voice asked, "What cha doin'?"

I'm familiar with this scenario and took a deep breath, relaxing in the traffic. Without entering discussion with Father, I simply said, “Yes, Lord.” and began to pray for the person occupying the red Corvette. Dark windows kept me from gender or age specific prayers. I quickly began to pray in the Spirit and found myself speaking blessings over the life of the driver and their family. In a few moments I had a sensation of what it feels like to be salty. A saltiness from the King’s point of view.

Having entered peace in the midst of a metal river, I was surprised by an overpowered pickup truck that came up quickly on my left side. The truck was so abrupt that it had to break sharply to avoid hitting the vehicle in front in that lane. I began to wonder, “WHERE does that, (OK, I thought moron), think he’s going?!!” I sensed Father clearing his throat, and quickly began to pray in the Spirit, effectively cutting off the cursing flow in my thoughts. Soon I was blessing the man in the powerful truck, his family, his work, and interestingly, found myself praying with his parents with a sense of pride. I could tell his parents were proud of their son. Isn’t that just like Father, to give you an insight prophetically that can make you like a person you were just tempted to be ticked off at? Thanks DAD!

Well, after driving the 4 or 5 blocks to the Post Office in just under 15 minutes, I was thankful for the time of intercession I was allowed to have access to, and completely aware of how much easier it is to curse than it is to bless. Discipline is a root word for Disciple, isn’t it? Hmmmm? Sometimes in the midst of common things, it is tricky to remember that we are not common or OF this present world. We are salt. We are a gift to this generation. God designed each of us to be salty in the days He designed us to live.

OK, I’m ridin’ and taking my own advice.

SOUND SENSITIVITY

Ridin' South on 35, gettin' into flow on the 20 and headin' for home. As I geared down one gear I became very sensitive to sound. Not only an increase of back-fire and rumble, but also a feelin' like all the metal gears in the transmission were flying around inside the housing like ping pong balls in a lottery drawing.

Needless to say the pucker factor was way beyond just negotiating the turn. I let the bike smooth through the turn, return upright and gingerly brought it back up one gear. Worked fine. "Well, might as well try and get 'er home as anything else." The ride ended without mishap, only a few moments when sounds were NOT right.

Called the cycle shop and made appointment to come by the next morning and let the tech's check her out. Did you know that a loose exhaust pipe can make the bike feel like the motor and transmission are falling apart under the bike? I didn't. Turned out that a nut had come loose and backed itself off of my front pipe. The pipe was still on with one other bolt, but the subsequent leak, and the pressure created when down shifting, made it have all sorts of sounds that did not seem sweet.

That is just a motorcycle story. It turned out fine and the folks in Irving treated me awesome! But it reminded me of being sensitive to certain sounds. While waiting one of the guys encouraged me for bringing the bike in. "Lots of folks will just keep on riding and pay no attention to changes in sounds or vibrations." he told me. hmmmmmmm... I heard what he said, but I also heard what he said.

So, when I was thanking the Lord for watching over me, again, I was also asking Him to help me be sensitive to the sounds in life. Help us all to not become so busy with the ride that we just drive past changing sounds. Help us not become insensitive, or DULL of hearing. Someone said concerning the killings at the college recently, "well, it wasn't as bad as 911." They must be of those that just keep on riding. Hey, let's keep our ears on, OK, good buddy!!???

ANCIENT GATE

Many years ago I was helping lead in early morning prayers. I began to read from Psalm 24 and was drawn into a vision. An arched stone gateway rumbled, cracked and broke through the ground in front of me. From the right a horse and rider came into view and strode toward the gate. The horse was huge and snorted with power and confidence. I could not see the rider's upper body for the brightness that surrounded Him. As horse and rider came to the gate, they turned and marched through, right toward me. In the vision I was anxious and exhilarated in the same instant. I scurried all about to find something, anything, I could put down for the rider to be able to dismount the horse. Nothing! Finally, I threw myself down so He could climb down on my back. The horse paused in front of me, scuffing the ground. I waited, but nothing happened. The horse and rider went on. I came out of the vision.Many years later, in the midst of a worship time, I was returned to that very vision. This time I didn't bow down, but looked up. The rider's face pierced me with beauty and determination. His hand reached down to me while his voice pierced me, "Will you ride with me?" I grabbed his forearm and began to swing upward... The vision ended. I became aware that years earlier, in my immature and false humility of trying to be CORRECT with the rider, I did not even look at Him. I missed that moment of visitation due to my D.P.S. (Disciple-Peter-Syndrome). That is where we run around trying to build something for Christ rather than look and listen to Him.A verse for all of this?"LIFT UP YOUR HEADS, O YOU GATES; BE LIFTED UP, YOU ANCIENT DOORS, THAT THE KING OF GLORY MAY COME IN... WHO IS HE, THIS KING OF GLORY? THE LORD ALMIGHTY - HE IS THE KING OF GLORY.
- Psalm 24: 7, 10 -

RIDIN THE OL ROADS

For years I drove between West Texas and the Austin area. I became redundant in comments like, "Oh, this would be a great motorcycle road!" It didn't matter if anyone was present to hear my repetitions, because I would say it out loud even when alone. I might turn off the stereo, roll windows down, cut the A/C and sometimes even stick my head out the window. Doesn't sound like someone in their late 50's does it?Well, ya just gotta be there, or have 2-wheel flying-fever! These days I've ridden down most all the roads where I previously ventilated verbiage. It is even better on a motorcycle than I knew it would be. Recently I rode 71 South of Brady over to Llano and had a tough time making time. I was late getting out of Midland, in the sense that I had 6-7 hours of riding before dark in deer country. Sun was working hard to give place to moon and I rode moderately above law's letter. The colors grabbed and snatched at my vision, beckoning me to stop and snap back with a camera. Over my left shoulder, for a nanosecond, a scene so rich, so full grabbed at my progress. My right hand let off the friction cruise. I backed 'er down to 60, 50, 40 with pipes poppin and eyes scanning for enough asphalt to turn my bike around. But, realizing the time, I pulled 'er on up again and began to savor the picture in my mind. More light than a Kinkade painting. Although I didn't notice any Hobbit holes, they may have been there. A little pond, encircled by blue carpet with; Perulean, Periwinkle, Cobalt, Cornflower and royal. There were more shades but hey, I was doin' 74 mph. The amazing blue on blue field was assaulted by the deepest greens before all spilled into the little pond. This beauty battle was flanked by a slow rising hillock bursting into flames of: Alizarin, Crimson, Cardinal, Coral, Sangria and of course, Fire Engine. Oh, the glory of Spring colors that rupture through little cracks in the roadside brush line. The fact that sun was about to go off shift made the colors tune up their dying volume the way red clouds mark the end of day's light. I could not stop and avoid the dark in deer country, but I can remember and give thanks. Now you can too.

LET PHRASE ARIZE!

While I drove (it was rainy) to a morning prayer breakfast recently, I heard the Lord's voice say: "Now has come the day of the Equipped Saint!" The tone of voice was like Gandalf at the end of the Lord of Ring movie where he said, "Now has come the time of the King."

I was scheduled to give a devotion at the breakfast and I shared a little on that phrase. Most there seemed to be moved by the word. What I sense is that, no matter what we think, now has come the time of the equipped saint. We are now in a season of leaving immaturity and theatrical into maturity and authenticity. Function at your post with the Lord's enablement is the word of the day.

Saints, like real children, are taken care of in their youth. Saints, like real children, do NOT stay children, neither do they stay helpless or immature. Saints represent God in the earth and now has come the day of the equipped saint. We will see all manner of function released as God-Salt in the closing hours of man. God's Glory is being revealed.

Pray for the saints whose work is caring for the young, (new converts) Pray for the saints whose work it is to participate in the maturing, (making disciples). Pray for the saints whose work is seeing to it that God's children are released to work. (the Fathers) Pray for the saints whose work is to lay down their very lives for Father's love. May He grant us eyes to see AND hearts to walk out His own saltiness.

The verse the Lord reminded me of is:

"The Sovereign LORD has given me an instructed tongue, to know the word that sustains the weary. He wakens me morning by morning, wakens my ear to listen like one being taught." (Isa. 50:4)

PEACEFUL WARFARE

Spiritual Warfare, with weapons that are never carnal and in a battle already won, is oft difficult to apprehend by those who grasp the hilt of a natural sword.

I hand carved a huge sword once from wood. Even though it was artificial I felt the desire in the blade to hew and hack at human limbs. Strange, I thought, to feel such a violent reaction with a sculpture of wood in the image of a carnal weapon.

It soon dawned upon me that scripture did not say that the Word of God is a sword. It says it is sharper than any sword and names God's Word, "Sword of the Spirit". The picture of its use is most often proceeding from the mouth, not grasped by a hand.

Recently I was given another wooden sword. In a spiritual ceremony birthed by the Spirit through a dear friend, it was clearly not the symbol of carnal weaponry. In the same time frame, I heard a message where the speaker mentioned something like, "it's not a god of war that subdues the enemy, but the God of Peace." (re: Rom. 16:20)

May the God of Hope and of Peace be the One that trains our hands for war and our fingers for battle. Lay down arrogant ideas of our own abilities to do battle. May we take our posts in believing and trusting. He is not finished with us.

A COLD MEMORY

It was late January, 1967, a few weeks before a middle-teen birthday and we were at a military cemetery near Saint Louis, MO. COLD! Something was mentioned about it being the same plot where my brother was buried. Brother? They told me I had a brother, but he died as an infant. His name was Michael. I didn't know about my younger brother until that day. Strange to lose your Dad and discover you already lost a brother too. Makes trusting adults pretty tough.

That cold January our mom, the widow, tried to be sure everyone was being dignified, though she kept herself warm by half a bottle of 10 High whiskey as she made her way to a front chair. My brother chose to stand in the back. I wanted to stand with him, but was required to sit by the widow. She was not in Mom mode.

I remember crunching sounds. They were boots marching and soldiers lining up with rifles. The muffled grind of snow underfoot merged with huge white disks floating to the ground. Chalk like leaves floating on puffs of winter breath reminded us of the frigid air. It changed crisp to painful with each exhaled breeze.

Sharp, quick commands, then:
Pap, Pap, Pap... 7 men, 7 rifle shots in perfect unison and the 21 gun salute was over by the time I understood. What was missing? There was no sound of brass hitting the ground? Snow is a quiet catcher's mitt. As soldiers gingerly crunched away I noticed my brother digging in the snow and wished again that I could have stood with him.

Then it started and I remember thinking,
"Oh, no. My mother won't be able to hold it together if they play that!" But it was played and my mother did not hold it together. Her desire for dignity fled from her with each muffled scream of grief. Being sick with emphysema, she always thought she should have been the one to die. I tried to put my arm over her shoulder and others tried as well, but TAPS took her somewhere and all had to wait for her return.

Snow absorbed any idea of echo into itself, while each note reached out to pierce all who were alive with militant honor. Hippies quietly hid their symbols of peace and bowed their heads. Taps does not take or give excuses.

As the notes faded many hands lifted, then folded and then two hands presented the flag to a husk that had been mom. A
diminutive and helpless shell of a soldier's widow, soon to awaken as a single mom, received it. Her arms did not lift from her lap. She just turned her palms up and the flag was laid down. I saw her cold fingers curl and grip Old Glory with wishes for her man's shoulders.

Taps ignited the fumes of personal toughness reserved for her children and burned away the broken pieces of her heart. Taps bound her to her man and then Taps cut him loose from her. For the rest of her days she would not listen to those notes unless all around became as stone and listened with true dignity. The
temperature of Taps was captured by a white January and never escaped the cold.